Letting go…

I’ve being in a dilemma for 2 days and counting, unsure of what to do with myself.

You see, I got a call at 4:35 a.m on Sunday morning that one of my best friends, my sister Susan was dead.
Nothing, absolutely nothing prepares you for the loss of someone so close, not even past deaths, I know this because I lost my Dad in 2003 and my younger sister in 1995.

So I thought I was covered, that I could actually let go; but how is that I still find myself wondering if this is all a dream or a sick joke or something else, just not death!!!
….Its too final. You see, I never got the chance to say good-bye to Susan, to tell her how much I loved her…

I keep asking myself how to move on, its so unfair that all the plans we have would end up not coming to pass. Who would fill in the gaps for me, who will comfort your mum…I remember nights when she wouldn’t let us go out because she wanted company, who will do this again…

Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this but celebrating your life at least I can move on, its what everyone says, so it might work.

I remember the first time I saw you, it was at Regina Pacis Girls College, you resumed late. I remember thinking ‘that has to be the skinniest kid I have ever seen’….fast forward to 2005, we fell into each other’s parts at the University of Abuja and hit it off quickly.

My Susan, my Susu. She has to be one of the kindest persons I have ever met and known. She had a solution for everything, she was stubborn but stubborn for life and wouldn’t let it be taken away from her.

This is why i’m still shocked at this news. I miss u my friend. You’ve left a vacuum so large that I wonder if it’ll ever go away.

To your loved ones, family and friends, Ada, Kene, Ifeoma,Joy, Memunant, Obi, its is my prayer that we all find the heart to move on, we’ve lost a rare gem but God really does know best

So I thank you God for everything, for the gift of Susu and like Damita Haddon sings, ‘everything belongs to you, our hearts, minds, soul and lives’. Do give us reason to believe this more than any and to come to terms with the fact that Susu’s gone.

To my beautiful friend, like mum said, you struggled for too long to enjoy life but you are resting now…Rest peacefully..
We love and miss you dearly IMG01737-20111119-0001Susan ‎​


6 thoughts on “Letting go…

  1. I know this seems like one of those moments when God doesn’t make sense. The death of a loved one is never easy to comprehend but one thing is certain, even when we don’t understand, Jesus absolutely does. He is the Lord of all comfort and He feels every bit of pain friends and families of Susan must be feeling right now. Rejoice in the fact that you had a gift like Susan in d first place and that she is in a much better place now. Take heart my friend. May the soul of Susan Nwanoka rest in peace.

  2. Rest in Peace dear Susan…God sure knows best and I know ur smiling beside God with no pain or any ailment. Rest in the Lord gentle gem.

  3. @ Tobe, It is well!! It is ok to cry, but dnt cry for long. Let all the good memories u guyz shared console you.. Our God is on the throne, ALL is well.. RIP Susan Nwanoka..

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